Vegan adventures in Hong Kong – Hong Kong Island & Kowloon

“What are you going do in Hong Kong?”

“Eat.”

And eat we did. Goodness food is expensive in Hong Kong compared to Taiwan! There are so many vegan options though, we barely made a dent in the restaurants we wanted to visit. Here’s my rundown of the dos and don’ts for vegans in Hong Kong – these were all in the space of two days, so we didn’t get to try as much as we’d have liked. Our stomachs simply didn’t stretch that big.

Mana – Slow Fast Food (Vegetarian)

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Raw coconut cake

Chocolate Cake Mana

Raw chocolate cake

mana wrap

Gluten free wrap

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with lots of avocado

This is the only place we visited twice (partly because they’re one of the only places open before 12pm on a Monday). They have a fast slow food concept, so you can eat out or dine in. I loved the flatbreads, really generous with the fillings and lots of flavor. The place itself has a really nice atmosphere and a great playlist, and the staff were friendly, helpful and polite. Almost everything is vegan, except for some fillings. The desserts were slightly disappointing – very small slices and the coconut cake tasted like cashews not coconut, I would have preferred it more coconut creamy. It would be nice to have a price difference for the fillings too – for example, the cucumber was the same price as avocado.

Food waste gets turned into compost, and they use paper only packaging and make an effort to recycle. What confused me was that there is only the option of disposable packaging. I would have rather seen less packaging and more re-useable containers. Other than that I loved Mana and will definitely go back if I’m in Hong Kong again.

MTR: Central

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste – 4/5

Value – 4/5

Atmosphere – 5/5

Facebook; Happy Cow

Life Organic Health Cafe (Vegetarian)

The disappointing tofu cake

The disappointing tofu cake, with thighs to show scale

Before we arrived in Hong Kong Life Cafe was highly recommended to me, so when we found it we were both kind of disappointed. The food was a little uninspiring (salads, samosas, falafels, and desserts) and I would have asked about the menu which looked more interesting, but the staff were unfriendly and unapproachable. When we ordered a piece of cake, I thought that they were trying to tell us to go away because they were closed. Turns out she just wasn’t the eye-contact and smiling type.

The only thing I tried was the vegan tofu chocolate cake, but it was bland, expensive and just tasted of tofu – it didn’t encourage me to try more, but maybe I’d go back and try a lunch and the coffee. Maybe. The other customers were friendly and smiley at least.

My other quibble is that their packaging was all disposable and just went in the same trash can – there was no option of sorting for recycling. This disappointed me for somewhere that otherwise claims to be environmentally conscious.

MTR: Central

Do or don’t visit?: Don’t for the desserts, if you try the mains let me know.

Taste – 2/5 for the cake

Value – 3/5

Atmosphere – 3/5

WebsiteHappy Cow

Mana Raw – Wild Juicery

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Celery root ‘vushi’

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Inside Mana Raw

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Collard Wraps

This is a raw branch of Mana just across the street and down a little way from Mana Slow Fast Food. I was (and still am, I think it’s summer coming!) really craving raw food so I talked Josette, my vegan travel companion, into going for lunch. It’s my usual complaint about raw vegan places – small serving sizes. I had the celery root vushi and it was delicious, but there were only 6 pieces. Josette had the collard green wraps, which were a little less creative. I felt like they were something I could have whipped up at home without much thought, which isn’t especially what I go to raw vegan places for – I go for the innovation and creativity they usually bring to their creations. I didn’t get to try the juices or desserts, which was a shame. Overall I would like to see more creativity in their menu.

The staff were really friendly and helpful and we talked for a while. Something curious about all the more ‘trendy’ dining places of Hong Kong is that the menus are only in English, unlike in Taipei where they’re all bilingual. I asked why, and they said that all their customers are Westerners – but the staff are local or Filipino. They told me that there’s a large number of vegans and healthy eaters in Hong Kong. This is very different from Taipei, where there aren’t enough expats alone to keep somewhere like this in business and there are far more locals who eat at the vegan restaurants. Something about this situation in Hong Kong didn’t feel quite right to me after living in Taipei for the past 9 months.

MTR: Central

Do or don’t visit?: Only if you’re craving raw food, but I think there are better raw places we didn’t make it to on this trip.

Taste – 3.5/5

Value – 3/5

Atmosphere – 5/5

Facebook; Happy Cow

Loving Hut – Wan Chai

BBQ Char Sui steamed buns for breakfast

BBQ Char Sui steamed buns for breakfast

BBQ Char Sui meal set

BBQ Char Sui meal set (with a vegan egg)

Caramel latte, all prettily decorated

Caramel latte, all prettily decorated

'Egg and Cheese' sandwich.

‘Egg and Cheese’ sandwich.

Laksa Soup

Laksa Soup

Happy Cow HK Ice Cream, I dream of this stuff

Happy Cow HK Ice Cream, I dream of this stuff

I told a lie, we went here twice too, once for lunch when we first got to HK and once for breakfast the next day. If I lived nearby I’d go there for breakfast every day (except they only open at 11). If you go, you have to try the Char Sui BBQ Soya Slices. The egg tarts were a little flavourless and I’d have liked more vanilla to give more of a custardy taste, or some lemon to make them more interesting. The coffee was excellent and had a pretty pattern on it, and they do a surprisingly realistic sunny side up egg. The staff were friendly and there was even a live music act when we were first there.

They also stock Happy Cow HK ice cream, which is made from coconut cream and sugar and is amazing. There will be a full blog post about ice cream to follow.

MTR:  MTR Wan Chai Station, Exit A3

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste – 4/5

Value – 5/5

Atmosphere – 4.5/5

Website; Happy Cow

Branto Pure Indian Vegetarian

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Masala Dosa

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Idly Vada

Slightly awkward to find as it’s hidden away in an apartment building, we went here for a snack on our way to the light show – we had approximately twenty minutes. I wish we’d had time for a full meal here as it was certainly far less of a disappointment than the light show was. Actually, it wasn’t a disappointment at all. We only had two of the appetisers, a masala dosa that was the hands down winner, and an Idly Vada that was also pretty good. I would have happily stayed and eaten everything vegan they had to offer. It’s somewhere I’ll be going back to. The service was fast and efficient, and the place filled up at dinner time with all the local Indian population, which is always a good sign.

MTR: Tsim Sha Tsui

Do or don’t visit?: Do. Skip the light show and eat here till your stomach puffs out poppadom style.

Taste – 5/5

Value – 5/5

Atmosphere – 4.5/5

Website; Happy Cow

Gaia Veggie Shop

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Taro ‘fish’, a traditional veggie dish

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Fried noodles, with vinegar and sugar to add

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What I call Beef Wellington, because that’s what it tasted like

Hidden away in a large Mirimar (a mall for anyone who doesn’t know), we visited here for dinner later on the same night as the Indian. Their menu is huge, and what’s vegetarian not vegan is clearly marked with an egg symbol next to the dish. I tried the taro fish, the fried noodles with sugar and vinegar, and what was a sort of veganized beef wellington. All strange sounding, but delicious! The prices were very reasonable (not cheap but not too bad) and it came to around 100HKD each for a filling meal. The provided tea, pickles, and a complimentary mung bean dessert. I could happily have gone back and tried different things, too.

MTR: Tsim Sha Tsui

Do or don’t visit?: Do. It’s something more traditional to try while in HK.

Taste – 5/5

Value – 4/5

Atmosphere – 4/5

Happy Cow

…………

We also tried a local place around Sam Shui Po that will appear in the Hong Kong videos on my YouTube channel (search Plant-powered Nomad), a local breakfast place and a dessert place. I don’t have the names or addresses of them, but there was some good food! A handy reminder that asking locals and leaving the comfort of Happy Cow is always good, too.

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Complimentary Cantonese curried wheat gluten (seitan)

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Black fungus soup

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Tradtional breakfast of rice tubes in peanut sauce.

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Sweet potato and ginger dessert

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Vegan chicken satay. It was delicious.

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Mango sago

We also tried the Lok Chai Tea House but it was 60HKD each for tea! The Dim Sum looked good but was 40HKD for each small plate, so we put the menu down and scurried out to spend our pennies elsewhere.

As a final note, the supermarkets in HK are awesome for vegans and you can get a lot of the Western vegan food like Tofurkey and Field Roast that isn’t available in most of Asia. Again, check out my YouTube in a few days for a video tour. There are so many more places we didn’t get to that I want to try next time I’m in Hong Kong, as usual if you’ve been anywhere you love, let me know.

Happy eating!

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My packing list – how to travel light

You can always tell a first time backpacker by the size of their bag. Overpacking is a problem, and it doesn’t have to be. Here are my tips for how to travel light enough that your backpack will pass as carry on luggage with most major airlines. This list is designed for city travel with some countryside, not hardcore trekking. So no tent, hiking boots, or sleeping bag.

Clothing

You never need as much as you think. It’s better to have to pick something up than discard things along the way. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made travelling was buying a wardrobe just for that trip, before I went there. I bought with the climate in mind (I was going to South America) rather than my own personal taste. If you wouldn’t wear it at home, you’re not going to enjoy wearing it while travelling.

Don’t bring: clothes that are only useful for clubbing. So no heels or sparkly and impractical dresses. They take up a lot of room, and you just won’t get the use from them to justify it.

Do bring: clothes that go from day to night. Shorts with a nice top, maxi dresses, and little black dresses that are casual enough for day wear too are all good choices.

Don’t bring: jeans. Jeans are heavy, impractical, often quite uncomfortable to wear for a long time, and they take forever to dry.

Do bring: leggings. Leggings are the traveller’s secret weapon. They can go under shorts to keep you warm, they’re comfortable on a hike, and they can also be worn at night in a hostel or at a couchsurfer’s for some modesty. They pack small and they dry fast. I usually travel with 2 pairs.

Don’t bring: a million accessories. I hope this one goes without saying, but you just don’t need 5 different choices of scarves and hats.

Do bring: a versatile scarf that you love. Try to find one that can double as a shawl when it gets cold. If it’s colourful it will make all your outfits instantly brighter.

Don’t bring: impractical footwear, new footwear, and shoes that don’t dry and absorb water fast. If it rains and your only walking shoes get soaked you’re going to have nothing to wear tomorrow. Or you’ll have wet feet, which will make you sick, and being sick when away from home is miserable.

Do bring: a comfortable pair of shoes that can withstand miles of city walking and light hikes, and a pair of flats or sandals that are small and light and will transition from day to night effortlessly.

Weird tip: I met a woman in Colombia who swore by traveling with thongs. I tried it and she was right. If you can stand them, they’re smaller, pack better, and dry faster than regular underwear.

Toiletries

Don’t bring: bottles, they’re heavy, space consuming, and they don’t last.

Do bring: bars. You can get solid bars of soap, shampoo and conditioner. They’re airplane friendly, they don’t take up space and they last for ages. You can also use your soap to wash your clothes with in a sink, if necessary.

Don’t bring: all your make up.

Do bring: essentials and one extra thing. I travel with basic make up: spf foundation/BB cream, mascara, eyeliner, blush. My one extra is a bold red lipstick for the evening, as it instantly detracts attention from travel-worn clothes.

Don’t bring: a hairdryer. Most places have them to rent.

Do bring: straighteners, at least if you have crazy frizzy hair like mine that triples in size when humidity is mentioned. Having nice hair makes such a difference to my mood, and my willingness to appear in travel photos.

Electronics and extras

Don’t bring: all your chargers. This is a massive space waster.

Do bring: cables that will fit multiple things. Some cameras and most electronics will charge via usb, and usbs will go into laptops, meaning you only need your laptop charger to go into the wall –  this means you only need one bulky charger.

Don’t bring: your big laptop, if you can avoid it.

Do bring: a netbook or a tablet. Much better than nothing, as it saves using slow hostel computers and it means you can blog, send couchsurf requests, and upload your photos from the road. Battery life is also much better than most large laptops.

Don’t bring: paper books.

Do bring: a kindle/ereader. I was so against them until I got one. Now I can’t imagine traveling without it. It saves space and gives you choice of what to read.

The bag

Don’t bring: a suitcase, or anything with wheels.

Do bring: something you can comfortably carry on your bag for hours, and something good quality. A good bag is worth investing in, as it will accompany you on the road for years. Find something with a waist strap that fits you well: taking the weight off your back is crucial.

My current favourite travel buys

Lush shampoo and conditioner bars

At about $12 each they’re not cheap, but 1 1/2 of these got me through 3 months of travelling in South America, and my hair smelled amazing and was soft and clean.

Buy them here. They’re also almost all vegan, and they’re all cruelty free.

Image credit: Valli Ravindran/Flickr.com

Image credit: Valli Ravindran/Flickr.com

Croc sandals

These are without a doubt the best thing I bought before I came to Taiwan. If you’re going to a hot, wet country, buy these. They’re incredibly comfortable, not un-stylish (they don’t look like crocs) and they’re durable and totally waterproof. I can wear them in a typhoon in summer, and it’s no problem.

Picture from Amazon.com, where you can also buy the shoe http://www.amazon.co.uk/Crocs-Huarache-Womens-Ballet-Flats/dp/B008KZC5KK

Picture from Amazon.com, where you can also buy the shoe http://www.amazon.co.uk/Crocs-Huarache-Womens-Ballet-Flats/dp/B008KZC5KK

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How to travel as a vegan (and a reaction to Anthony Bourdain)

I’ve hitch-hiked, couchsurfed, camped, stayed in hostels lived in more than a few countries. All as a vegan. Unsurprisingly, when I started eating a plant-based diet it was one of the things I worried about most, as I already loved travel. I wouldn’t say that I had an opinion as extreme as Anthony Bourdain (an opinionated chef) in my pre-vegan days, but the motives behind refusing hospitality weren’t exactly ones I understood. Here’s a taste of his eloquent, beautifully phrased sentiments:

“They make for bad travelers and bad guests. The notion that before you even set out to go to Thailand, you say, ‘I’m not interested,’ or you’re unwilling to try things that people take so personally and are so proud of and so generous with, I don’t understand that, and I think it’s rude. You’re at Grandma’s house, you eat what Grandma serves you.”

You think that’s bad? Here’s what he says about vegans:

“Being a vegan is a first-world phenomenon, completely self-indulgent.”

Excuse me while I go into the corner until I stop laughing. This statement is so ironic to me that I can’t even take it as an insult. For the record, though, I don’t eat what my Grandma cooks when I visit. I cook her vegan food, and even though she complains a little, she eats it and I’m pretty sure enjoys it.

I was worried about seeming like a bad guest, though. I’ve done some thinking since then. When was the last time you saw an article called ‘reasons Jews and Muslims are bad travellers because it’s not Kosher and Halal.’ (Opinions on Halal meat, again, save for another day.) The difference being, religious diets often hold a respect that vegetarian/vegan ones don’t. I’m still waiting to see an article called ‘Why the Buddha makes a bad traveler and guest, and if he visits me he’ll eat beef and thank me for being generous.’ Think that’s going to happen?

Probably not.

What Bourdain handily looks past is that respect it a two way street. When I travel I am more than open to immersing myself in their culture, their language, and their food. As long as no animals are harmed. And I hope that they can respect that, just as I in turn respect their religions and customs. So far the only people who it seems to offend… are those sitting at home.

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Top to bottom, left to right: a ‘haggis’ and cranberry panini at a cafe on an island in the North of Scotland, a ripe papaya for dinner in Taiwan, an extortionately expensive raw vegan patty burger in London, and an amazing traditional style thing in Brno, Czech Republic.

How to eat when you’re a broke vegan travelling

Emergency food I travel with in my bag:

Rye bread (if possible, easy to find in Europe, not so in Asia), peanut butter, vegetable spreads/pates, bananas, apples, trail-mix and/or nuts. Sometimes there’s also a potato and an onion in there to cook at a host’s.

A standard day’s food on the road:

Breakfast: Fruit of some sort, usually bananas. I’ll add in bread or have oatmeal if I’m feeling super hungry.

Lunch: Some restaurants will have a vegetable soup, often I can find something involving noodles. I can usually find fruit or veg, or peanut butter and crackers when all else fails.

Dinner: Happy Cow is a godsend. I can usually find somewhere in any city I’m in that does vegan food. If I’m cooking, I’ll often do a potato/onion/mushroom/tofu fry up which is quick, cheap, and I can find the ingredients almost anywhere in the world. I carry small bags of spices in my backpack to add, carefully packaged.

I’m not good at being hungry. And I like hot meals. Couchsurfing is usual for travelling as a vegan because I can often find at least a vegetarian to stay with, or the person is willing to translate when we go out for food so I know what I’m eating.

The main thing is prepare, prepare, prepare. Make sure you have a few granola/cliff bars stashed away, so that when an emergency happens you’re okay. I’m a purist within reason, too – if there’s bread on offer, I’ll check it’s not been friend in lard or something, but I’m often a little more flexible about it containing milk or egg if I can’t tell and there’s nothing else. Chances are, it’s vegan. Better that than something that definitely has animal products in it.

Bottom line is, I’ve made it this far. And it only gets easier to travel as a vegan. It shouldn’t be a reason to put you off – veganism or travelling. And vegan food tourism is a fantastic way to see a city. Hunting down that little vegan place down a back alley in a city leads you past amazing places that you might never have experienced had you settled for the omni-place on the high-street. There are ways, there are means, and there are rewards.

P.s., here’s the full Anthony Bourdain article if you feel like it.

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Can I stay on your couch, stranger? Being homeless travelling.

My flat in Taipei doesn’t have heating. It’s COLD. I could buy a heater, but I’m not really at home enough to justify the expense. Three weeks ago it was still beautiful weather, and so a friend and decided to go to the beach before it turned wintery again. For the first time in my life, I stayed in a hotel. I’ve always worked to earn money to travel before, but I’ve never earned enough to afford luxuries.

Three and a half years ago I came back from being in South America for three months exhilarated by travel and looking for any way possible to continue my wanderings. So I started using couchsurfing (www.couchsurfing.org) much to the disgust of my flatmates, who definitely weren’t fans of strange men and women off the streets who smelled a bit funky (generally the first thing they do, and certainly the first thing I always do is ask to take a shower) wandering into our kitchen and being given cups of tea. The three particularly wonderful things about couchsurfing are that it drastically cuts your travel budget, it can make traveling alone a much less lonely experience, and it can show you a far more real side of the city than the one you see otherwise. A hostel in Europe costs around $15-25 a night, depending on the city, and that’s for the cheapest dorm room where you’ll be sardined in with a lot of other travellers. You’ll probably be eating out, because cooking a hostel is awkward, even if they do have a kitchen. This adds another $10-20 a day, if you’re eating cheaply but with okay nutritional content (I’m not counting the travellers I know live on bread and that’s it).

If you couchsurf, though, you’re looking at a free bed. And often the use of a kitchen, so you can make proper food and have a proper food budget. It’s nice to cook for your host or take them for a meal, but that doesn’t blow the budget if you’re staying for a couple of nights. This takes the daily bed and board budget from around $40 to $10 a day. Suddenly, travelling between terms as a student when you have no money becomes possible again.

Except for when you don’t have a bed, and spending money on a hostel seems to not only be an extreme waste of money by this stage, but also has a sense of failure to it. There’s something anticlimactic about saying ‘I couchsurfed right down to the southernmost point of Crimea, except for the night when I couldn’t be bothered to send requests so just stayed in a hostel’ (I couchsurfed all the way, that’s another story).

This has left me in the awkward situation of being bedless and roof-over-headless, with nothing working out at the last minute like it usually does. Three times to count, in Krakow… Krakow again, and Salzburg. The first time I pulled the solo female traveller card that I very rarely do and don’t really respect myself for doing – I hung around in a club until I found someone who would let me sleep on his couch. I emphasised that I just wanted to sleep on his couch. He seemed very confused about what was going on, but acquiesced. This may seem shady, but one of my cardinal rules of travelling alone is don’t drink much if I don’t have someone I trust around, and don’t do any sort of substances. I don’t ever want to lose control of myself and not know what happened.

The next night I still didn’t have somewhere to sleep, and I decided to spend my day on a  free walking tour. This is a fantastic way to see a city, and I completely recommend it if you’re ever in Krakow or any other city that does them. Worrying idly about not having a bed, I began to pay more attention to our guide. He seemed pretty eccentric. Very eccentric. ‘Do you couch surf?’ I asked. ‘Of course!’ he replied, ‘I love crazy people!’ It seemed legitimate. ‘Do you have a spare couch tonight? I couldn’t find a host.’ ‘Of course! Meet me outside the Mosque at 8, we’re going drinking first.’ And so it was that after the walking tour I joined him and a few others from the walking tour for a pub crawl. I learned a bit more about my host while we were downing rainbow shots of vodka that were more sugar than alcohol, including the information that he was a Lord of the Rings fanatic. So much so that he moved to New Zealand and hung around the streets trying to score a part in the Hobbit movie. You can read an article about it here: http://www.odt.co.nz/news/queenstown-lakes/194741/all-days-work-goblin

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My host in Krakow, Poland. He looked a little different at that time.

That night I and two lovely girls from Andorra stayed in his bedsit apartment with him, one of the girls and I in the bed, the other on the sofa bed with him. There was a lot of giggling from the bed, but I’d had a little too much cherry vodka and fell fast asleep while the party carried on around me.

The next day I went to stay with an actual host from couchsurfing who had finally accepted.

A year later I was in Munich, and heading to Salzburg, hitchhiking with my then boyfriend. There’s a noticeable difference in how easy it is to find a host when you’re two people. I know myself I like to host solo travellers much more than couples or friends travelling together, mainly because I feel I get to know them much better. I also feel more bound to help out solo travellers in a fix, and I’m sure that one of the reasons I get hosted so easily when travelling alone is that people feel the same way. One person without a bed inspires far more sympathy than two.

As we were waiting at a gas station by the border of Austria and Germany, I got a message from a woman called Bambi. Bambi said she would be able to host us, and we should let her know when we got to Salzburg. ‘See!’ I triumphantly told my boyfriend, ‘I told you things always work out!’ He muttered something and sloped off to smoke down a nearby bank again. It was cold, and had been raining for hours, and we were soaked because we’d been standing there for hours. This gas station was failing us miserably, and we’d been offered rides to everywhere except Salzburg. In retrospect, we should have taken one of them.

Finally a young man in an ancient and battered VW pulled up and told us to get in. It had been an hour and I hadn’t had a reply from Bambi, but I wasn’t worrying too much yet. He told us he was about to study Sports Sciences, and he was staying overnight with a family friend. We vaguely attempted to score a couch, but it clearly wasn’t going to happen. He dropped us off at a motorway station on the edge of the city so that I could get wifi and see if there was any word from Bambi. It was now very late, about 11pm. I was starting to worry a little. Sure enough, no word. ‘Let’s walk into the city centre at least,’ I suggested. ‘It might give her a little more time to reply.’ My boyfriend didn’t seem optimistic, but agreed. The rain had at least gone off a little.

We found shelter in one of the only places still open: the bar of a boutique hotel. I ordered a cup of tea to warm up with, and he ordered a beer and went outside to stress smoke frequently. A group of middle aged and plummy accented English business men came in and sat down at the table next to us, shooting odd looks across from time to time. We were two very, very scruffy bedraggled hitchhikers, with limp cardboard signs to previous destinations strapped to our bags, sitting in very civilised surroundings. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt as rough and out of place as I did then.

It was now 12.30am, and still no word from Bambi. The barman was beginning to shoot us annoyed looks, so we left and went back to roaming the streets. We found a hostel and tried to convince them to let us have one bed between the two of us, but they wouldn’t and at 18 euro a night, we weren’t willing to get one each. We found some Koreans outside the hostel, but they really weren’t much help and we didn’t thing we could smuggle ourselves in amongst them. They also didn’t seem to speak any English, as became evident after us talking about them well within earshot for a considerable amount of time raised no reaction.

The Koreans went inside, and we got bored and wandered off. We found a very shady Gentleman’s club, and a cat that danced when I stroked its back. We got rained on again. Unlike Taiwan, where there are also elderlies on bicycles, Berlin, where there are always pervy Turkish men, and Glasgow, where there are a lot of drunks, Salzburg is completely deserted at night. And I mean completely. We saw absolutely nobody in our two hours of wandering. It’s that civilised that people go to bed at 10pm and stay in bed.

We went back to the 24hour McDonalds, but it wasn’t 24hour, it was 12am-7am. I used their wifi for just long enough to establish that we could hitch out first thing and a South American would be able to host us in Vienna. We just needed somewhere for that night. Briefly, we considered pitching our tent in a park, as we had done by a gas station in Munich. But this was in a considerably more built up area, and I suspected that drifters probably wouldn’t go down too well.

At last, we found a house that was having heavy amounts of construction work done. Clearly no one was living there: the yard was rubble, but it did have an empty shed. Desperate, freezing, and at 2.30am in the morning, we crept in to escape the harsh wind, curled up, and went to sleep. Unfortunately I get vivid dreams when I’m stressed that lead to me sleepwalking and sleeptalking, so I had a nightmare that a man with a torch had found us. I woke up shouting ‘there are people beneath us!’ Another time I shivered so violently that I shook myself awake.

At 6am when it started to get light we crept out and back to the McDonalds, where we loitered outside waiting for it to open. At 6.30 a strange assortment of hipster Austrian business men wandered along too, and paced up and down outside in their pinstripe suits that stopped a few inches above their ankles, and their floppy half-shorn haircuts, glaring at their watches. When McDonalds opened we and the hipsters dashed inside for the heat and the coffee. We regrouped. I have never had a worse night of sleep in my life. We went outside. I put out my thumb by the side of the road, and I held up a sign saying ‘Vienna’, and we got the hell out of Salzburg.

Salzburg. The picture here couldn’t be further from my experience of the city.

And hopefully, those will be the last stories of homelessness I will ever have to tell. This stay in a hotel has marked a new chapter in my life of travel. While I’m sure I’ll rough it many more times, I now at least can pay for a hotel when I’m in a bind, and not have to resort to breaking and entering.

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My time on Public transport in Ukraine, or why you should always talk to strangers.

As I’m not actually travelling at the moment, I think it’s time I finally start uploading some of my travel stories from the past – reliving the glory days, if you will. Where better to start than with the story I told at a story slam. You can find the radio broadcasted version here: http://www.icrt.com.tw/wordpress/blog/2014/11/27/heresay-episode-4-tune-in-thursday-night-at-9pm-for-the-show/#.VJPd3_A0N8

I’m up first on the broadcast.
This is a tale of why you should never turn down conversations with strangers when on public transport while travelling. Within reason of course, don’t follow them down any back allies. One morning I woke up on a shelf, which was my bed, in a third class cabin on a train in Ukraine. It was one of those days, you know? The cabin was a long corridor with shelves about yay across that I was very close to rolling off. For some reason it was mainly Russian Babushkas and their granddaughters who all rose with the crack of dawn and started eating homegrown apples, drinking the black tea with lemon the train provided, and reading newspapers.

Of course, this woke me up. I hadn’t had the best night’s sleep: possibly something to do with sleeping on a tiny swaying shelf two metres off the floor with elderlies snoring in 5 part harmonies all around me. And I was surrounded by Russian. I was addled, and tired, and I desperately needed to find a toilet. So I wandered off down the carriage to where a load of men with bellies and hair poking out of their string vests were standing laughing. And pointing. At me. And my feet. What?

“Where you from?” The bristliest of them bellows at me.
“The UK,” I replied.
“CRAZY ENGLISH!” He shouts down the entire carriage, slapping his friends.
“Huh?”
“Shoes!” He points to the bathroom floor, and then to my feet. I’m wearing socks. This makes them crack up, helpless with laughter. “Come, my wife will meet you,” he tells me, and pulls me back down the carriage, ignoring my need to use the facilities. His wife spoke excellent English, which was rare in Ukraine. While she gave me the contact details of their family hotel and pressured me to visit and bring my parents, her husband and his Polish friend told filthy stories to each other, selectively translated by the wife, until at one point the man turns to his wife and says something in Russian.

“He wants me to tell you,” she says, “that we have two sons, who are very nice, and handsome, and earn good money.” She looks troubled. “But I don’t know why he wants me to tell you this as they both have girls…”

So that was how I nearly became a Russian bride, but moving on…

I was on a bus in Crimea, and struggling, as usual, with the language barrier. My host that night, a friend of a friend, was telling me I needed to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere. I put him on to the driver so they could speak Russian, and the driver was, if anything, more confused than me. As luck would have it the woman next to be could speak English and she sorted everything out with the driver. She told me that her husband was ‘Bob Skinner’, and that he was a Yorkshireman, from England. He lives with her and her daughter on their goat farm in the Crimean hillside.

“Other men, they make me do all the work. Bob he treat me so well, he make me feel beautiful, like a woman.”

She stayed with me until I had met my host, because she didn’t trust him (he was perfectly lovely, and that’s another story) and took my phone number so that she could ring me later and check up on me.

Later that night I got a phone call from Bob, who was very excited that his wife had met the first British girl he had ever heard of being in Crimea, and he’d been here for over five years. He really does spend all his days farming goats, with only one other house in walking distance. I have an open invitation to visit and farm goats with them.

As I hope has been shown, the moral of this story is that when in strange lands you should never be put off talking to strangers out of fear that they may be foe, not friends. If life starts to fail me, I can always go to Ukraine, safe in the knowledge that I have a husband and goat farming waiting for me.

(Image from BBC news, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/fast_track/9727345.stm)

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