Motorbike Crash in Cambodia – Part 2, the island recovery

Read part one here:

To recap: I was in Cambodia. I couldn’t walk. And the damage was seeming pretty serious. I was also alone, except for a guy who was, for now, hanging around to help me out. In my dorm room was a woman who got me stoned and flashed me, two tattooed Icelandic boys who didn’t talk, and a blur of various others who looked at me in horror as a warning tale.

I was due to arrive on Koh Rong Samloem, an island off the coast of Cambodia that I didn’t know much about. I delayed my trip there by a couple of days, until I could at least hop if I was holding onto someone’s arm. My friend decided to come with me, to keep me company, carry my bag, and be said arm. Also who can resist an island with nothing on it except a hostel? No internet, no wifi, no civilisation…

Have you spotted the catch yet? I was very injured with deep wounds. This might not have been my smartest idea.

Before we left, we went to the hospital to get my bandages changed. With us we took the newest member of our dorm-room of misfits, the man we dubbed Desperate Dan, who had been having a bit of a rough time. On this particular occasion he’d come to get his stomach checked out, which had started causing huge problems. A week ago he’d had a heart attack, after his drink had been spiked with meth, ket and MDMA by the Cambodian woman he’d had a week long romance with. He was also onto his third phone, after being scammed, losing, and breaking his previous ones. The tales were endless.

Once at the hospital he disappeared off and I was left in the waiting room in my wheelchair. A man on the other side with a tiny tiny baby noticed me staring, and beckoned me over. My friend wheeled me across and the man handed me his baby, who must have been barely a week old. I awkwardly held it as it snuffled to itself. I couldn’t quite believe how trusting this man was, that he would hand his baby to a stranger.

As I got my bandages changed, I thought it was probably wise to check that I was okay to disappear off to a tropical island. “Is there a hospital there?” I asked.

Beautiful Koh Rong, taken by Rene.

“There’s definitely a hospital on Koh Rong,” the baby-faced doctor confidently replied. Koh Rong was the next island across, and so I was reassured. Meanwhile, my friend was off getting his rabies shot. A dog had, unprovoked, nipped him on the ankle when he was at Angkor Wat, and now he was suffering a huge amount of expense and tedium trying to find rabies vaccinations everywhere he went so that he could complete his five week post-bite course. When done, we waited for Desperate Dan, who was in a mood. They had found a stomach parasite.

We reached the island without too much mishap, although swinging on and off a boat with only one leg was interesting. With impeccable timing, my friend decided to pass the hour on the boat by showing me the pictures he’d taken with my camera of when he went back up the mountain to see the parts we didn’t reach. This included a picture of my blood on the road… still there two days later. I went silent for a while.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. This was after two days!!!

By this time I was on some intense pain medication, and everything was dreamlike and surreal. One long boat ride, followed by a shorter one to transfer to Samloem, and we’d made it onto the island. In typical twist of fate style, the cabin we were given was the one furthest away from the main area where the food and the people were.

I spent my days by beating everyone else at scrabble (and being very modest about it). My concentration was too poor for most other things, but apparently my word skills were still working. After a couple of days the blood had soaked through the bandages and gone crusty, causing me a lot of pain. It was definitely time to get them changed, and so we started trying to make arrangements.

“Is there a hospital or clinic here?” we asked. We were told no.

“Can we go to Koh Rong? Is there one there?” They looked at us, and me, and shook their heads.

“I have to get to the hospital though,” I said, indicating my extremely dirty bandages.

He made a phone call, and told me that a boat would be leaving early in the morning and we could get to Koh Rong on that – the same boat we had come on, just going in the other direction. How we could get back remained a mystery. Likewise, whether there was a hospital also remained a mystery. They seemed to think there possibly, probably, maybe was one.

The next morning we set off bright and early, ready to go. The hostel boat took us round to the pier on the other side of the island and left us there for a while, where we were scammed into buying tickets from some guy in the restaurant who didn’t seem to be sympathetic to me needing to get medical help. When the boat arrived, the German woman covered in tattoos who was also crewing the way over looked me up and down with a ‘you again’ expression. She offered me a hand and I swung myself on.

Once we arrived on Koh Rong my friend headed off to find how we should get back. It was already 10am, and we were told that the last boat for Samloem was leaving at 12. This was much sooner than we had expected, as we knew the boat going back from the pier to the hostel wasn’t until 3. Unperturbed we made our way onto the island to find out about a hospital. While I waited, my friend went to ask and came back with the news: “he said there’s no hospital here, people always say there’s a hospital here, but there isn’t and I don’t know why they keep saying that. If we go to the bar down there, then there’s a barman called Dennis who’s a doctor.”

Pharmacy fun

Dennis was a shirtless and tanned English guy who took one look at my bandages and roughly told me to go up the road to the pharmacy, where they would charge me much less and do just as good a job. To get into the pharmacy we had to step over multiple small children who were rolling around in the doorway, where a blonde girl introduced herself and told me the pharmacist was in a meeting and we would have to wait. “As long as we catch our boat,” I said. “And why are there so many children here?”

“Oh, it’s also the daycare and English centre,” she said, watching as children wandered around the floor, inches away from prescription medicine.

The pharmacist, when she arrived, was an Australian girl in her mid-twenties who ushered me into the back room and onto a grubby bench. The wooden walls smelled of damp, and old English textbooks lay spread open in the dust on the floor. The metal plate with the medical tools on it was anything but clean, I think there was even a dead spider sitting next to a scalpel.

“So were you a doctor back in Australia?” I asked, as she peeled off my bandages.

“Oh no, I came to Cambodia a few years ago and fell in love with it. Two years ago I came back and started volunteering here, and at one point I did a first aid weekend. But after two years of dealing with motorbike accidents, you get all the experience you need.” I wasn’t overly reassured, and I was very thankful that nothing more serious had happened to my wound since I had arrived on the island.

The super sanitary room

As I grit my teeth and tried not to scream as the iodine was dripped onto the open wound, a cat wandered by on the wall above me.

The boat was, in fact, not a direct boat but rather a scuba diving boat for Chinese tourists. As we lounged around in our shorts and t-shirts, they tightened their life-jackets and clung to every piece of boat they could reach. Young Chinese women took turns holding each others hair back as seasickness got the better of them. When the boat stopped in the middle of the sea, we retreated to the upper deck for some sunbathing while the tourists leapt off the side of the boat and bobbed around, still in their life jackets, hunting for fish.

Relaxing on the top deck

Hours later, and a a little sunburned, we were deposited on the pier where eventually the hostel boat picked us up. The newbies who were arriving looked panicked at the sight of me, exhausted and bandaged. The hostel staff welcomed me back and asked if I’d managed to get my bandages changed, and I just looked at them.

“Next time someone asks if there’s a clinic on Koh Rong, please, please, tell them no.”

A Chinese tourist in a life jacket, bobbing along.

To be continued… as I find myself alone in Siem Reap, and with a website that’s been revenge hacked.

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6 vegan meals you need to eat in 2016, and where to find them – Plant-Powered Nomad

I asked 5 vegan other travellers to tell me where the vegan meals we need to eat in 2016 are – from Brighton to vegan food in Africa, the results might surprise you.

A VEGAN BUFFET AT THE FOOT OF MOUNT KILIMANJARO, AFRICA

Some of the best vegan food we’ve ever had has been at Ol Tukai Lodge in Amboseli Park, at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro, in Kenya, Africa.  The chef prided himself on the vegetarian cornucopia in his kitchen.  As a matter of fact, when we arrived for our first meal at Ol Tukai, and asked the dining room host about vegetarian food, he introduced us to the chef who, he was excited to tell us, always prepared a bounty of dishes without animal products.

As it turned out, a good 70% of the food at the Ol Tukai buffet was vegetarian or vegan.  Vegetable dishes outnumbered meat dishes three to one! The chef was more than please to pose for some photos with me at his extraordinary colorful buffet.

Pictured are pasta with marinara, sweet pea sauce, ugali and traditional dark greens, dal and rice.  And that doesn’t count the salad bar, out of frame in this picture.

We have been to Africa on safari twice for two weeks at a time and the situation at every lodge has been similar.  Plenty of vegan fare, and high quality at that.  More Africa safari lodge food photos here.

Lani can be found on her website:  http://www.lanimuelrath.com, and is author of The Plant-Based Journey.

Vegan food in Africa Vegan food in Africa

VEGAN TAPAS IN BRIGHTON, UK

In 2016, you need to eat vegan tapas! There is so much delicious vegan food all over the world nowadays that it’s actually quite difficult to pin down the best. However, I personally love sampling lots of different foods, and as many in one meal as possible. So, I’m naturally drawn to tapas, but they’re rarely all vegan. On a trip to one of my most beloved cities, Brighton, England, I heard about Rootcandi, the UK’s first 100% vegan tapas restaurant, and I had to check it out.

Six small plates of vegan delicacies on a three-tiered display stand is nothing short of a delight for all your senses. The world-inspired cuisine, like the Pan-Asain tapas platter I had, which is delicious, nutritious, and beautiful, really makes this place stand out. I’m sure this spot will mature nicely, so I definitely recommend a visit here in 2016.

Amanda is a vegan solo full-time traveler who puts the burger in Burger Abroad.

Rootcandi vegan tapas
BBQ SAUCE ROASTED CAULIFLOWER AND NOODLE SOUP IN HANOI, VIETNAM

Luckily, on this particular mission to find vegan food I had a companion. I say luckily because it was hidden down a tiny alley, off a totally different section of street than the one to which Google Maps had directed me. We eventually wandered past the sign we were looking for “Com Chay” and the word “vegetarian”. A scruffy kitten let itself be picked up and cuddled as we ordered and were told that they didn’t have half the things on the menu.

Fortunately, they did have this ‘beef’ vermicelli soup and BBQ sauce (or something similar and Vietnamese) roasted cauliflower. Despite the scruffy surroundings it stands out as one of the best meals I ate in 2015. There are many little places like this down alleys in Vietnam, just keep your eyes open and see what you find. Read more about my vegan in Hanoi discoveries here.

Amelia (that’s me) from Plant-Powered Nomad wanders the world alone teaching English and Yoga, and eating awesome vegan food along the way.

Vegan food in Hanoi Vegan food in Hanoi

VEGAN JAPANESE CURRY IN LUODONG TOWNSHIP, TAIWAN

Whenever I think back to the time I spent living in the small township of LuoDong in Taiwan, where I taught English for a year, I always think of this small vegetarian restaurant where we used to go to eat vegan Japanese curry, a sweet, yellow apple-based curry. It was full of fresh, seasonal vegetables and served with stream wu-gu fan (five grain rice, or purple rice).

It’s a small, local but exquisitely designed vegetarian restaurant hidden amongst sprawling apartments near to the rice paddies at the edge of town and is run by a local family who grow all their own food on their organic farm, including growing their own rice, seasonal vegetables and even making their own cheese (very rare in Taiwan).

We used to wander down on a summer’s evening after work and went by scooter in the cold and torrential rain, pleased to be welcomed in by the friendly family and ready to fill out bellies with hot curry. Even after going there every week for over 6 months, we never found out the name of the restaurant but it’s located at 54 Jingye Road opposite the Beicheng Elementary School.

Charlie is a long-term traveller from the UK who writes about simple ways to travel sustainably, including house sitting, slow travel and eating local. Check out her slow travel blog Charlie on Travel and follow her travels on Facebook.

Vegan curry in Luodong Taiwan

VEGAN BRUNCH IN TOULOUSE, FRANCE

South-western France, the home of foie gras, is not exactly the most vegan-friendly travel destination. While the staff in local restaurants were eager to help once I explained what vegans do and don’t eat, sadly, they sometimes had trouble scrounging up enough vegetables from the kitchen to make even a decent salad. But none of that mattered, because it made the experience of dining at La Belle Verte in Toulouse all the more memorable. While La Belle Verte does serve meat, the cuisine offered here could best be described as “plant-strong”. The owners give priority to using organic, local and seasonal ingredients, and they are knowledgeable about veganism and happy to cater for vegan diners.

On Sundays, they offer a brunch that is out of this world. The menu changes each week depending on what’s available at the nearby farmers’ market, but any non-vegan items can always be substituted with vegan ones. I was presented with a plate stacked so high that a piece of toast had to be balanced on top of my pumpkin soup! It was way too much food for one person, but that didn’t stop me from eating every last morsel.

Wendy Werneth is an intrepid traveller, vegan foodie and polyglot who is on a mission to show the world how fun and fulfilling vegan travel can be. You can follow her adventures at The Nomadic Vegan and download her free ebook, 8 Steps for Fun and Easy Vegan Travel.

Vegan food in Toulouse

VEGAN CHURROS IN BRIGHTON, ENGLAND

All the food at vegetarian restaurant Terre a Terre is brilliant and inventive. They are famed for their unusual descriptions and wacky names – to the extent that sometimes reading their menu doesn’t even help you understand what a dish is. But it’s well worth the confusion…even on occasions when I haven’t been able to deduce from the menu what my dish might be, it’s still been delicious. Case in point, a description from the menu of the dish Soubise Soubise: “Blasted buckwheat basted Roscoff onion bunged to the brim with hazel herb onion caramel nut mince served with cranberry juice kraut, radicchio pear pickle, toasted cream swede pie, roast parsnip and potato pave.”

However, Terre a Terre’s dish that set me over the edge into rapture (including noises that should not be made in a restaurant with polite company!) was their churros, or as they call the dish, Churrisimo.  The cinnamon sugar dusted doughnut sticks come with traditional thick chocolate sauce but also a few of Terre a Terre’s own unique additions: vodka soaked cherries and sea salt caramel dipping sauce.

Caitlin can be found at The Vegan Word. Caitlin is a vegan food and travel writer who has travelled to 30 countries (and counting) and just published her first book, The Essential Vegan Travel Guide.

vegan churros terra a terra

Have you eaten anywhere that you think should be on this list? Tell me about it in the comments below.

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Vegan-ing out in Tokyo

By which I mean eating out. I needed at least two weeks to get round the vegan restaurants in Tokyo and I didn’t have that, so this is just a smattering. Ohhh the glory of vegan food in Tokyo. One note: the servings all over Japan are quite small, for this reason I haven’t given any of them particularly good ‘value’ ratings except ‘T’s’, which is significantly cheaper. Most came in around 1000jpy-1400jpy for a main, and 500-700jpy for a dessert.

Cori Vegan Foodstand

cori

cori2This is one of my favourite places that ate at in Tokyo, in fact so good that I decided to go there for my birthday. Luckily it was open then, but not the next time I went there. However, as you’ll find out later, going somewhere and finding out they’re closed has become a theme of my Japan trip. The spicy veggie plate was my favourite thing (but not spicy). You can also buy organic berry wine here, which is delicious and has large berries floating in it. It’s in a place called Commune 246 which is a really cool area to just hang out, and especially if you’re travelling or eating on your own it’s also a good place to meet people. You’re looking at 1000yen for a smallish plate of food, although smallish plate should be assumed for all the meals in Japan, they’re not big servers.

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste – 4/5

Value – 4/5

Atmosphere – 5/5

Happy Cow

Hanada Rosso

hanadarosso2Hanadarossohanadarosso3

I power-walked here and made it 5 minutes before last orders, and it was worth it. It’s on the pricier end but it makes up for it with flavour, and then some. This is one of the best burger patties I’ve had so far, it was rich, moist and tomato-y. It also wasn’t a fast food burger, which I keep encountering in Kyoto, much to my surprise. The cheesecake was good, but a little too baked for my liking. Pure’s cheesecake definitely has the edge, and it’s maybe only a 10 or 15 walk from Hanada Rosso. The interior was nice but there was nothing that made it special, and it was a little too cafeteria for me.

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste – burger 5/5, cake 3/5

Value – 3.5/5

Atmosphere – 4/5

Happy Cow

Pure Cafe

pure3pure2pure

This is attached to the Aveda store which, as you might guess, means that it’s expensive. It packs out around lunchtime and you might have to wait for a table, but it’s worth it. I had the special, which was a soy meat dish, and it was okay but not exceptional. It came as a set and the soup was pretty good, too, but oniony so if that’s not your thing it’s best to check before ordering. I heard their tempeh is excellent, and I’d have liked to try a few other things on the menu, too. The cheesecake is definitely where they shine: it was delicious, and has a texture very similar to what I remember real cheesecake being like.

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste – main 3/5, cake 5/5

Value – 4/5

Atmosphere – 4/5

Happy Cow

T’s Tantan

Ttantan2Ttantan

I may get shot for this by the T’s Tantan groupies but… I was not a T’s Tantan fan. Maybe it’s after a year in Taiwan, but the noodle soup I ordered just didn’t have any wow factor for me. It’s in Tokyo station, though, which makes it very convenient until they randomly close and tell me I can’t come in (I was trying to give it a second chance, fate was against me). It’s good for a cheap, fast meal that’s pretty tasty, but it’s not something I’d go out of my way to eat. It’s a bit difficult to find: follow the signs for the Keiyo line and eventually you’ll see it on your right.

Do or don’t visit?: If you’re going through station, do

Taste – 3/5

Value – 5/5

Atmosphere – 3/5

Happy Cow

Hangout

Hangout

Hungry in Tokyo at 10pm? This is the place head to, last order is 11.30pm and they close at midnight. It’s a Japanese vegan version of a tapas bar, so you order several small plates. The staff were very friendly, and they also offer alcohol. I tried the gyoza, the vegetable rolls, and some fried soy meat things which were excellent. They were all good but quite simple, I especially felt the gyoza I’ve eaten before for less money. I’d order the rolls and the soy meat again, though. The place was cool, but would have felt cooler with more people: it was dead when I went. Maybe I’m just hard to please, or maybe I should have tried more, but for what it is I felt the price tag was a bit hefty. For a meal for two expect to pay around 5000jpy before you start adding drinks.

Do or don’t visit?: Do, but it wouldn’t be my first choice

Taste: 4/5

Value: 3/5

Atmosphere: 3.5/5

Happy Cow

Nagi Shokudo

Nagishokudo2NagiShokudo

I have to admit I really like having to take my shoes off and getting to sit on a raised platform to eat, either cross-legged or with the spaces under the tables. It makes me far more inclined to hang around and get comfortable. This is one of the best places I ate. For the lunch/dinner set pick 3 things off the menu and they add rice and soup. Every small serving was delicious and full of flavour, I particularly liked the okra which was prepared in a way I hadn’t tasted before. I didn’t try their cake, which was a mistake as I now wish I had, as I’ve since been cake eating my way around Japan.

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste: 4/5

Value: 4/5

Atmosphere: 4/5

Happy Cow

From Earth Cafe OHANA

earthcafe5 earthcafe3 earthcafe2 earthcafe

Everything here is in Japanese, but you can get by as it’s all vegan. I tried the burger, and my couchsurfing host had a black bean fried thingy – I think it was the special. It was considerably better than the burger, there wasn’t even a comparison to be made. My burger was dry and bland, and I had to ask for ketchup, but the black bean thingy was full of flavour. I tried the cake afterwards which was good, and came with Matcha ice cream. It also came with these odd rice crispy things which periodically appear in Japanese food, and I remain confused about why they were there. The place is also a health food shop, and it’s exceptionally cute.

Do or don’t visit?: Do

Taste: 2/5 for the burger, 4.5/5 for the black bean thingy.

Value: 4/5

Atmosphere: 5/5

Happy Cow

Sky High

The cold-pressed juice and green smoothie trend has, no surprise, hit Tokyo and this is one of several juice bars. It’s all vegan, and also offers sandwiches for about 1000jpy. One of my couchsurfing hosts went here and sent me a message, after which I joined him. His message went something along the lines of ‘vegan eating is expensive! I just spent 1800jpy on a juice and a sandwich with some bits of carrots in it.’ The juice was delicious, between 800-1000jpy depending on which you choose (you can also get a large one, which is better value) but I think the sandwiches probably are overpriced and you’d be better off getting a juice then going elsewhere for food. Bear in mind that fruit and veg in Japan is extortionately expensive, so if the juices seem expensive, it would cost you much more to make your own. It’s tiny but friendly and within minutes we were talking to everyone else in the shop.

Do or don’t visit?: For a juice, do

Taste: 5/5

Value: 4/5

Atmosphere: 4/5

Happy Cow

VegFru

When T’s Tan Tan failed me, I set out on a marathon mission to find somewhere else open, fast. A marathon because I was carrying all my possessions on my back (I was heading to Hiroshima) and  they were heavy, and I was hungry. And it was very, very hot. I got lost on the way, and ended up wandering for twenty minutes more than was necessary. Finally I made it and sat down in a sweaty heap. I ordered the salad set, and was served a very pretty but quite small salad with some warm seedy bread and the standard green smoothie which goes with it. As usual, no English was spoken and the staff looked a little horrified at my large back and dishevelled appearance. It was a decent price and the dressing was delicious, but I wouldn’t say the trip was worth it when there are so many other amazing places to try.

Do or don’t visit?: don’t

Taste: 3/5

Value: 4/5

Atmosphere: 3/5

Happy Cow

BONUS

Coffee

If you’re a life starts with coffee person like me, you’ll be relieved to hear that there’s a small chain of coffee shops called Streamers Coffee in the Shibuya/Harajuku area. They do the best soy latte I’ve had so far in Asia, and it’s expensive but worth it. They also do something that seems to be unheard of in Kyoto for coffee shops: they open in the morning, when coffee is needed (8am on weekdays). The Shibuya shop has free wifi for tourists that says it has a 90 minute limit, but they don’t enforce it.

Places I tried to go:

Vespera’s falafel. They were consistently closed. I finally got my falafel fix in Kyoto, but sadly at a veg friendly place not a vegan one.

Happy Cow

Have you been to other places in Tokyo? Or were you blown away where I wasn’t? Let me know in the comments.

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My job was illegal – and everyone’s doing it (read before teaching in Taiwan)

Here is the blog post I waited to post until I left, because it’s something that needs to be out there for people coming to teach in Taiwan. It’s something that I looked for more information about before I came here, but I couldn’t find any details beyond the blog post title. What I am about to reveal is the comedy of errors that this country has going. It’s a pantomime of many parts, try to keep up.

Legally, foreigners aren’t allowed to teach Kindergarten level kids, we’re only allowed to teach from grade 1 up. A quick scour of most of the blogs about Taiwan, though, including my own, will quickly reveal that his is most definitely not a law that’s adhered to.

To get your ARC (resident working visa) you have to have a sponsor. Legally, this requires a minimum of 14 hours a week of work at that school. You are not only registered to that school, but you are registered to a particular part of the building. This ensures, in theory, that one school doesn’t hoard foreign teachers for illegal teaching, using them for teaching classes that aren’t supposed to be learning English. When registered to part of that school, you are supposed to stay in that part of the school and not leave, wander into the Kindergarten, and then wander back. If you’re caught in the kindergarten while the government is visiting, questions will be asked.

No books in English may be in the kindergarten. No pencils may be in the kindergarten, because the kids that age shouldn’t be learning to write yet. No whiteboards are allowed in the classrooms, because you’re not supposed to teach children that age. They should just be playing. There are different zones, the play zone, the reading zone, etc.

Getting this? Have you spotted the problem yet?

This is Asia, the continent where the school systems make the rest of the world cringe in fear. I teach children from the age of 2… Actually, I know for a fact at least 5 of them weren’t 2 when I started. And I actually do teach. These kids are learning English, and they have to sit still for 40 minutes to have flashcards put in front of their noses so they can learn basic sentence patterns about fruit, the weather, feelings, etc. Kids from about the age of 4 are expected to be able to use scissors and to write their ABCs, their names, and very basic words. Who sends their children to this type of kindergarten? Rich people. Official people. Doctors, diplomats, business men and, you guessed it, government officials. The same people who made the rules saying that the kindergartens should be a place for playing.

Until I manage to work out how to insert one, please imagine a facepalm gif here.

The crazy thing (as if this wasn’t enough) is that all of this is, to a level, enforced. I’ve been around for several government raids where I’ve been hurried out of the classroom and sent to hide in the bushiban. One person I know at a different school, who hadn’t been teaching long, had to hide in the toilet. Unfortunately they then forgot he was there until four hours after the government had left. In my first few weeks of full time teaching, before I got my visa, I was in the illegal part of the school (yes, an entire part of the school shouldn’t even be there because it’s a fire hazard) when the government officials downstairs heard us stamping around and got through the door. We, myself, my kids, and two other classes with their teachers were all hurried into the tiny end classroom and the kids were told to be silent. A government official burst through the door with one of the head CTs shouting “you can’t do this” or similar in Chinese, and throwing herself in front of him as he took pictures on his iPhone. He didn’t seem to concerned about the fact that he’d just walked in on an Anne Frankesque scene of three white teachers and a lot of confused children huddled into a tiny space.

The reason he wasn’t concerned is becasue he wasn’t looking for foreign teachers that day, he was just looking for illegal parts of the building. Same as the people who come to look for foreign teachers aren’t concerned about illegal parts of the building or whiteboards and books in the kindergarten.

There’s only one time I’ve witnessed a full raid, but luckily we were given about a week’s notice so a ‘field trip’ was organised for me and my kids. And the illegal kindergarten teachers who don’t have early childhood degrees. And another class of kids. Because not only do we have illegal white teachers, illegal Taiwanese teachers, illegal books and whiteboards, we also have an illegal number of children and an illegal number of classrooms. So I watched for two days as Uncle stripped all signs of English from the kindergarten, and all signs of children from my classroom. Then on the day, we were shipped off to a different part of the city, ushered in, and left in a classroom for 3 hours with nothing to do. Then we were taken back to the school, and everything continue as normal.

It’s not all fun and hide-and-seek-games, either. At a different one of our branches, government officials dressed up as parents, came in, and took pictures of a girl teaching. She was deported. If you ask your recruiter before you come (because the illegal thing is mentioned on the internet, and you may have seen something about it) they’ll laugh and brush past it. If you ask your school, they’ll laugh and brush past it. But it is real, and it is scary, and it was very stressful to teach in that environment for a year where suddenly everyone would be shouting at you to run as music went off and people hid. Okay, it may not happen too often that people get deported, but all it needs is that one time and it could be you. The fact that the schools don’t seem to consider you may not be happy with this is, frankly, just disrespectful. A lot of teachers aren’t even aware that their job is illegal. To reiterate, go through this flow chart:

Are you teaching children younger than grade 1?
|                               |

yes                             no
|                               |

illegal                         legal

Simple as that.

I quite frankly don’t understand it. If it seems confusing and farcical, it’s because it is. But teachers have been deported, the government are getting sneaker, and it is a risk. Even if the manager of all the branches of your school does take all the local police out drinking.

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10 things to love about Taipei, Taiwan

Maybe I haven’t always been the most positive about Taipei. The cockroaches, the working hours, the lack of alternative night-life, the terrible dating prospects for Western women… (more on that later). Now that I’m leaving, though, all the nostalgia is kicking in. I will be genuinely sad to leave Taiwan: it grows on you.

The Mountains

The air in Taipei is not that polluted for an Asian capital, but it’s not clean, either. The city has nice parts, but it’s not an attractive city. What makes the city bearable is that almost wherever you are, you can see the mountains between the buildings or over the rooftops. Ride the MRT from the city centre for 15-30 minutes in any direction, and you’re in nature. Take a train or a bus for an hour, and you’re at the beach. Surrounded by mountains. They’re green, lush, and a beautiful way to escape from the city for a few hours.

On a Sunday morning hike in Neihu.

On a Sunday morning hike in Neihu.

The People

If you’ve heard about Taiwan at all, and aren’t one of those people who hear me say Taiwan and respond with ‘Thailand! Awesome!’ (seriously, learn the difference)  then you’ll have heard that the people are lovely. They don’t disappoint. With very few exceptions they’re friendly, helpful and welcoming. They compliment your Chinese if you can say anything at all, and they’ll go out of their way to give you information, take you places, and see that you’re alright.

The Convenience

When I lived in Germany I was always getting caught out by all the shops closing on Sundays. In Taipei, the schedule is the same all week long. 24/7 convenience stores are on every corner and sell most things you might need in a hurry: umbrellas, rain ponchos, toothbrushes, alcohol, disposable underwear. A lot of shops are open until 10pm and nightmarkets are on till midnight, so you can finish work late and still go clothes shopping with friends. Basically, when you need something, you can get it.

The Transport

Admittedly it’s not cheap, but the HSR (High Speed Rail) will take you all the way down the coast from Taipei to Kaohsiung in a little over two hours. If you want a cheaper option, there are trains and buses. Taipei has an excellent transport network: the MRT (Metro) is constantly having new lines added to it, and there are buses if that fails. The Ubike system is used by everyone, so much so that the bike stands are frequently emptied and you have to stand like vultures waiting for someone to return theirs. Most of inner Taipei is flat, and so it’s perfect for biking: as long as you’re brave enough to bike in the scooter traffic amid the buses and taxis that will try to flatten you.

The Metro: clean, convenient, just don't bring your birds.

The Metro: clean, convenient, just don’t bring your birds.

The Safety

The other night I was walking the 20 minutes back to the MRT from an art class I was portrait modelling for. It was about 10.30 at night and I was in a suburb I didn’t know, right in the South of Taipei. It suddenly occurred to me that I’d never even thought about my own safety, because it’s just not an issue in Taiwan. Even when I’m alone by the riverside cycling home in the early hours of the morning, I’ve never once felt in danger.

One warning: bike theft is quite common here. If you have a nice bike, get a decent lock and lock it to something when possible.

The Tea Shops

This is something I haven’t seen anywhere else. Tea shops are everywhere here, and I don’t mean places where you go in, sit down and get a teapot. Here, you order bubble tea, or mango green tea, or one of many other flavours, you say how much sugar and ice you want, and you have a tea to go. And they’re big. They’re perfect for cooling you down on a summer day.

The Fruit

One of my biggest disappointments here is that the fruit is so expensive! It’s almost UK prices unless you go to the big wholesale markets. But it’s so tasty, and it’s everywhere, and it’s all perfectly ripe. When you buy a pineapple they’ll chop it up with a cleaver to save you the hassle (I hate to admit how many times I’ve accidentally let a pineapple go bad because chopping it was too troublesome.) Things also come in and out of season here, so there’s always something to look forwards to. And fruit and veg stalls pop up everywhere.

An extremely well-organised fruit and veg seller.

An extremely well-organised fruit and veg seller.

It’s not the Mainland

We have regular internet service, there’s not intense monitoring systems in place, and people are much more liberal. Taiwan has progressive laws for same sex couples, relatively speaking, and although discrimination is an issue here it’s small enough that you can for the most part get by without being aware of it. Schools still need to be better about hiring teachers on skills, not looks, but other than that Taiwan is good to foreigners. You won’t get overcharged, ripped off, or given dirty looks for being Western. People are polite and well mannered: they don’t shove, they don’t smell, and they don’t use the street as a bathroom. Taiwan is just generally more in touch with the rest of the world than the mainland.

Vegan and Vegetarian Food

I can’t state enough how easy it is to be vegan here. Once you learn to recognise the characters for vegetarian restaurant, you realise that they’re everywhere. Most food is labelled, so you don’t need to check the ingredients and risk missing something you don’t know the character for, and people know what a vegetarian is (there’s still some confusion about vegan, but they’re getting there.) More on being vegan in Taiwan here.

Vegan food at Vege Creek.

Vegan food at Vege Creek.

The Coffee Shops

You can get good coffee here, but for some reason you can’t get cheap coffee (unless you want it from the 7/11). Hipster culture has permeated Taiwan so deeply that coffee shops are everywhere, filled with quirky interiors and very expensive slow drip coffee from Brazil. A good coffee in most of the places here will set you back around 160nt, which is more than Starbucks, and more than most meals unless you’re in a restaurant. They are incredibly endearing though, and I like seeing the curious cafes that pop up everywhere with their hipster charm. Finding one down a ramshackle alley is one of the things that gives Taipei its charm. Find your vegan latte here.

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